I met Megan Miranda through the magical world on Twitter, and quickly realized how much I adore her. Megan has the most wonderful, make-you-laugh-til-you-pee personality. This–along with her fab writing skills–are sure to make her an instant success when her book, FRACTURE, drops from Bloomsbury, January 2012. I recommend you enjoy Megan’s answers to my questions below with a nice glass of Merlot and a brick of chocolate. Bon Appetite!
1) If you were a washing machine, what kind of washing machine would you be? Why?
Definitely the non-agitating kind. Who wants to be known as agitating? Also, the agitating kind ruins clothes. And then people spend the whole day yelling at you. Nobody likes a clothes-ruiner.
2) Would you rather have a pet alligator, or pet grizzly bear? Why?
Oh, trick question. I am firmly anti-pet at the moment. This is not because I am a horrible, animal-hating person. This is because I have 2 children and, as it turns out, that is my limit of things I can remember to take care of. I also really prefer, whenever possible, to be at the top of the food chain. That said, if I had to pick (which I do because you told me to), I think I will opt for the pet alligator. Coincidentally I was at the zoo this week, and the alligator seemed really, really lazy. Not at all like it might attack at any moment. And also, it had really little legs. I’m pretty sure I could outrun it. Right? Right?
3) Snow cone or ice cream?
Ice cream. Am I the only person in the world who finds snow cones highly unsatisfying? They look like they have substance, but they do not. They melt before you can really get a handle on whether you’re actually eating something. Like cotton candy. Which also drives me nuts. I mean, really, if I wanted to eat pink sugar, I would’ve just ordered pink sugar. Likewise, if I wanted water with flavored syrup, I would’ve just gone to the water fountain, sucked on a cough drop, and saved myself a few bucks.Phew. I feel a lot better now that I got that off my chest.
4) You must live forever, isolated, in the mountains or on the beach. Choose wisely, grasshopper.
This question is stressing me out. My first instinct was beach. I thought, no brainer, but then I realized, since I’m isolated, there would be no place to purchase sunscreen. And that would be bad for me. Very bad. So, by default, I was going to pick mountains. But then I worried maybe you were talking about the ones where people lose their toes to hypothermia. Equally bad.I think I need some more information before I can answer this question.I just failed the test, didn’t I?
5) If you were a great white shark for a day, what would you do?
Like I mentioned a few questions up, I prefer, whenever possible, to be at the top of the food chain. So I think I would just spend the day existing. Happily. Knowing that nothing was plotting to eat me.Oh, and I’d try one of those crazy jump things they do when they catch seals. Looks awesome. Except for the seal-catching part. I wouldn’t do that. Just the jump.